Cheese Ball Bits

A place for people with short attention spans to spend hours wasting time...okay, minutes.

A short filled with funny friends here in Chicago.


A little diddy I was in…you’ll never guess whose crotch rains water.

I lost my voice somewhere in the LaGuardia Aiport last night. If you hear it could you please return it to me before tonight’s gig? Thanks.

Don’t knock masturbation; it’s sex with someone I love.

—Woody Allen

If I were in a band this is the video I would want to do.

My friend Molly Hale from LA shared this. Oh, kids…they start so young these days.

She’s perfect, except her personality

—A friend describing a woman we both know.

  • Rance: I need a ruler.
  • Me: You can call me Queen of Hisofith if that will help.

Love at First Fart »

While the read is good it’s much more enjoyable if you click on the link to listen. Something is lost in the transcription. Enjoy!

Today’s Joke

Did you hear about the guy who robbed an Atlanta Wendy’s and then called the same restaurant later, not once but twice, to complain about the amount of money he stole. 

Police say in one call he said that “next time there better be more than $586.”

And to ensure that there would be, he set up both of his kid’s birthday parties and his AA meeting to be held there next week.